Men are from mars, Women are from venus

A session by Dr. Prishnee Datta

Men, women and their relationships always create a great deal of curiosity and so when I read the title “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” for Prishnee’s session, I was immediately curious to know what it was all about.

As we were getting seated, almost everyone chose not to sit with their respective partners (No hard feeling there ;);), it was announced that we were indeed supposed to sit with our partners.

Prishnee started of the session by asking us to make a note of things that we would like to change about ourselves to have a healthy relationship with our partners. Then we took turns in saying out loud what we admired most about our partners. Of course there certainly were things everyone knew already, but the happiness of hearing it yet again and that too in front of so many people was indeed very satisfying and soothing to the ears of many. It turned out to be exciting as Prishnee pointed out how men and women differ in their needs and expectations as most men commented on the personalities of their wives while women spoke about how they appreciated the support from their husbands and learnt a great deal through them.

We then filled in a questionnaire about a whole list of different situations and how we respond to them. Once that was done, we were explained how the scores were calculated and what each range of the score meant. I enjoyed the questionnaire a lot as over the years depending on how our parents have brought us up, Men and Women are no more the rigid species they once were. Just like women have become more independent and strong, Men are now more involved in the household chores and that is where this questionnaire proved apt as it gave us a chance to get an insight of how we are as a person and how that affects our expectations from our partners.

Prishnee then showed us a video about ‘5 language of love’. It is very natural for us to try and please our partners the way we would like to be pleased and that is where we all are proved wrong .Each of us has their own love language and we can only make someone else feel loved by trying to speak their own love language. Of course this is true when it comes to love, but now when I think of it more, I have realized that it is in fact true for all the aspects of our lives. Like when someone makes a mistake and instead of saying sorry they just get us a flower and we don’t approve of it as we think they should say sorry (as that is what we would do and hence the expectation). In doing this, we forget the intention of the other person and fell irritated for no good reason.

We then filled in another questionnaire which helped us find out our own love languages and also our partners. The questionnaire was very practical as there were direct questions and the scores clearly indicated what must be done to make one feel loved and also because no matter how many efforts you take to express your love to your partner, if you are not doing it in their language, they would never understand. There was lot to take home after the session but most of all, I realized that although men and women come from different planets and have many differences, if they decide to understand each other and accept each other with their imperfections, they certainly can love in harmony and provide a secure and loving home to the next generation.

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